I have posted about this before but I never make a clear choice. I only ever make a choice that will get me by now until I have time to second guess and evaluate more later.
So what is it I am asking about, well it is this. My blog, or whatever you want to call it. I am always wondering why I do it. Is it for me or for others? If it is for me then what am I getting out of it, if it is for others than who are they and why do they care?
I don’t really even know if there is anyone out there that actually reads it on their own. I know that there are people who if I tell them about a specific post they will go online to read it, but not really much more. I know that I get hits everyday, but the majority of them are from a couple of blog scrolling sites that I got added to somehow some time ago, and you can’t really count those because you don’t know if someone just scrolled past or actually stayed to read something. If there is someone out there reading all of this, they don’t leave comments, because I don’t get any comments.
So, am I doing it for me. I enjoy sharing and talking and typing when I can’t talk. I like for my stuff to be read, but as we know, that isn’t happening. I don’t want to force people to read anything, and bugging them to do it would just make them not want to. Do I really want to take the time to put my website out there to try to engage more strangers to read this junk? I would ask if I should just do this for me and not obsess about how might and might not read or comment, but obsessing is something I am good at and you aren’t taking it away from me.
Know that the lines of what I should do are completely vague and uncertain, let me try to see why I do it at all. I can say that I have always liked the idea of having a website, although the idea of a blog never entered that. I will also say that I am going back over stuff that I have talked about before and I am sorry about that if you already know this and are reading this, and see how I am still concerned about the people who obviously aren’t reading this. Ok, I started my first “website” a long time ago and I put it in quotes for a reason. That site was http://blacksilver.hotbot.com. I don’t know how many people are familiar with HotBot anymore, but that was an awesome site, at least it was for a Junior High student in the mid nineties.
HotBot was basically the next big, waiting to fail, search engine with a new idea hoping to be the next big site to topple the thrown of AltaVista, which was the number one search site of its time. As it went for a long time each of the search sites had their rise to fame until a new one that worked a little different or a little better came along. Then the larger ones would by the smaller ones to integrate and advance the searches to get one up on the major competition. That is until Yahoo! went over all of them in ’98 leaving even the best competitors one step behind until Google destroyed them in the early 2000′s.
Anyway HotBot provided not only their search engine, but for a short time provided websites as well. It was also one of the first places I saw with an online website from template builder. The site I had been simple and in the short time it was up I had entered around four pages of information about quotes I liked and, well that was about it. I devoted the sites to quotes I liked. I eventually lost the site and all the information, as anyone that used HotBot’s websites will know, they ended the service and deleted the pages with no warning or explanation, and forced me to dislike the company and move to Excite, another one of those raising and waiting to fail sites, but Excite was better and it was Yahoo! before Yahoo! was Yahoo!.
So for a few years following that I lost interest in having any kind of site again. It wasn’t until ’01 when I got married that I thought I should start a site and get it set up to share pictures and information about my family with my extended family. I started a web log site at Blogger, later to be bought by Google, and posted comments about things going on and pictures and stuff. That didn’t go over well, since no one understood a web log and just wanted a website at the time, so I decided to buy a domain and do a real website of my own. I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea, since I think my disinterested friends are really more interested in my life than most of my family, but I did. I kept this site for a long time, in fact I had it longer than I used it. I used and updated it for about two years until it became overwhelmingly obvious that I had no one looking at the site and didn’t want to continue paying for the hosting if it wasn’t being used. Something that I think Tink can relate to.
Well after scrapping that I did what I am good at and didn’t do anything to help please anyone else. I continued writing in my journal. Oh, that is important, I keep a journal. I have since I was 12 and still do. I love talking to myself including typing to myself. No I couldn’t be normal at twelve and write in a journal, I typed. I had a computer so why not.
This all came to a point with my brother. Ian moved away, a long way away. He, in his ever hoping ideas of sharing and communication talked me into starting a page with Xanga to type and update in. I tried for him, but I was in a bad place at the time and it just didn’t work out. Then in ’07 I started a MySpace, for the same reason and with the same idea. Yet again Ian wants me to update my life somewhere and he will read it. For a long time I updated Myspace for quite a long time really. For just under two years I posted something on a regular basis to my Myspace account. I did eventually give the account up all together. This was done for a couple different reasons. First was my general paranoia of who was reading my posts, why they were and what information was going to be taken out of context. Although I normally have that paranoia, at this time in my life there was a lot going on and I was going through a lot and it was getting overwhelming. I also was having a lot of technical issues with Myspace. As you can tell, if you have made it this far, I type a lot when I post something, and Myspace was getting in the habit of errors that deleted what I just wrote.
This moved me on to WordPress. I looked around for a while before deciding on a service that did what I wanted and looked and worked the way I wanted it to. That is how we got here. I then migrated all my post from Blogger, LiveJournal and Xanga to WordPress. I migrated most of the MySpace ones, but I still haven’t gotten all of them even two years later, and that is what we are coming up on. The two-year mark on WordPrss.
All of that and the 1300 words it took to say it basically only explain my history with having a website and web log and depicts the story of getting to where I am and why. The really sad part is that I summarized that quite a bit. There is a much longer version of all of that. I could write several posts this long on each of those steps, and that in itself is part of the issue. We live in a world where there is everything to do at once. I should say that is the world around me not me. The stats say that the average web log post or amateur article should be 100 – 500 words. Experts in this have shown in studies that successful sites have less than 100 words in a summary “fast grab” post. This keeps you in so that you will stay on the site just a bit longer. In fact, many studies have shown that quality of content doesn’t matter as much as how small and easily summarized the chunks of words are. After all the average person only stays on a web log or article site for 96 seconds. In this time a person makes a decision on what they think of your site and if they will stay there any longer. This choice isn’t made on the posts themselves. This is purely headline grabbing. They base a decision on your site based off appearance, readability, subject and headline. That takes only a few seconds and then they are either staying or going. If they stay it is only to read a short bit of the story under that headline and decide if they want to move on.
What this all comes down to is that 1600 words into this, there is less than 1% of the population that will read this article, as that is the percentage I have found for how many people who are online that will stick around to read something written by a stranger that isn’t about an important world event over 1500 words.
In doing this I have come up with what my decision truly is that I need to make. Do I want to continue doing something that I enjoy and is statically deprecating to the idea that anyone other than myself will ever get any enjoyment from it as I do, or even finish reading it. On that I don’t even know if I will ever reread this, so it may never be read all the way through by anyone. That makes this very interesting to me since I don’t have to really be concerned anymore with what I am doing at this point.
You know what that really kind or make the decision for me right there. I do know that I enjoy typing and love sharing these meaningless thoughts and ideas, but even more so intriguing is the idea of the person that actually reads something like this. So really all of this ranting has been pointless. Well I don’t think I would say pointless it is the process that I have just gone through to make up my mind on something that I was unsure about. Now I am sure of what I am going to do. Just do what I am doing and not care about what anyone else thinks about it.
By the way, this post is intentionally 2000 words long. I just had to make it to that mark since it makes this the longest post I have made as well as doubling what I read was the death mark of an online posting of 1000 words. The theory that people do not pay enough attention or have the span needed to read that much online. I have a more positive outlook on the world and think anyone can do anything they want, and that there are no hard and fast rules to writing or reading alike. Thank you for just proving me right.
Now if I can just get people to comment on here.