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Monthly Archives: April 2008

Nothing

I have the feeling just to type so I am. I don’t really have much going on right now. I am still looking for a new job. I have had interviews and such but am not ready to talk about them incase I don’t get the jobs. It is annoying when you are waiting to find out if you got a job. I am just not letting it all get to me these days though. I will just continue what I do and looking into other jobs while I wait.

I have been feeling good emotionally. I still feel a lot of pain and loss, but many of those out there are tired of hearing about it. At one time I thought these were things I could share and so that is something that I did. I know now that what you feel and how things are effecting you will just annoy others so it is best to keep it all to yourself, at least as much as possible.

I am gaining weight. No idea why. I am eating better, drinking water and less soda, exercising, and little to no candy or sweets. Yet I gain weight and don’t know why. I am ok with this now. I don’t know what I can do about it so I am not going to do much to try.

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Posted by on April 9, 2008 in General Post

 

Caring Brothers

Today Jason got to take a trip to Dollar Tree. I don’t know why this is an exciting thing, but it sure is to a three year old kid. Well he saw a bug box, his brother has a bug box, he wanted a bug box. He found him one that was purple and said that it was his favorite colour. Purple is my favorite colour too. Then he saw a blue one and got really excited and said that Conner need this one because it was blue. How sweat is that? He was thinking of his brother and found him a new bug box in his favorite colour. He was then talking about catching bugs with Conner. Then when Conner got home and Jason gave him the new blue bug box, Conner got really excited. Then Conner thanked Jason and they hugged each other and they went outside to catch bugs.

 
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Posted by on April 7, 2008 in General Post

 

Change

There are a lot of changes that I am trying to make in my life. I feel that I have done what was needed to put some things from my past to rest. I do not always believe in closure, besides, things never end. You may want this but I realize that you can’t just close something. Even if you have dealt with it yourself and moved on doesn’t make it magically go away. Also, everything effects everything else. You can not end this. By trying to put anything to an end you simply effect this more and cause more results. You can only accept it for what it is and try to live with it how it is. These are ideas that I have accepted and thought a lot about.

The event, and result, is not important. The important thing is that I have moved forward to a place that I needed to be at a long time ago. What will bring me to my next step is not something I have the power to do myself. I, nor no one else, can force the actions of others in an honest way. So I wait. I can only hope that this particular event will fall into place in my life in a positive and enlightening way. I can’t say what will happen, and I will do nothing to push it one way or another. I just know that I am on a path now that I am feeling good about. I am finding a balance in my life in many ways and I am finding peace with myself. I know that I may mess things up more or make things better. Then again so could anyone else. Like I said no one can control these outcomes.

I just felt like sharing even if I am unwilling to share too many details. I know that being vague can be annoying, but I can’t change what I need to do. Some of the actions I have taken are very personal and I don’t even know the results of them. The event is not, but I am feeling like I wish it had been. I can’t change the past but hope to make a better future.

I wish peace and happiness to you all and hope that we can learn from each other and make each others lives better from the thoughts and emotions that we share.

 
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Posted by on April 1, 2008 in General Post