Monthly Archives: July 2012


Since I didn’t have a lot to say concerning my progress in exercise today, I thought I would cover a subject that most people still don’t seem to know about me. Now I know that most of the people who might read this that have never met me have no reason to know it or assume it, those that do know me probably should by now. I am not exactly a quiet person that wouldn’t have shared it by now.

In all of my posts you will notice that I never talk about running, or even ever see me make it a goal to run or get to a point to run. I walk and always will, and I have accepted that as the reality of my life. I don’t think of running as a bad thing, I actually wish I could run or at least jog, but I know that I can not. Walking is good though, I enjoy a long walk and am never really in a hurry to beat any records anyway. You might be still be wondering why I can’t run though.

The simple answer to why I can’t run is that I have bad knees, but I think it is a little more complicated than that. I don’t really know the medical terms or what it is even called, it has been so long since I had a doctor look at my knees that there is no way I could remember what all those term are anymore. I can however put it in simpler terms. I was born missing this part of muscle or tendon on the inner part of each knee cap, which is a good thing that it is both of them in the same place, I do like symmetry. Over my youth, this caused my knee caps to move more freely than they should. Over time this movement caused a slow chipping, grinding and smoothing of the underside of my knee caps, until finally one of them popped out-of-place. According to my mom this first happened when I was 12, but while my knee was thrown to the side of my leg and it hurt like hell, it didn’t mean surgery and recovery and all that. No, instead it popped back in place and I went on with life.

See, I am missing that part that rips when you do that, and my knees are all nice and smooth on the bottom so there is nothing keeping them from just popping right back in place. Today I am 30 and I can just slip them on and off whenever I want at this point. Doctors have looked at them and told me all sorts of things, including medical terms for it that I have long since forgotten. The x-rays of them look really cool though, it kind of looks like my knee caps exploded. The chipped bone over my life from the smoothing of the knee caps gets stuck in the surrounding muscle and makes this interesting exploding pattern.

What does this really do in a real life situation, other than giving me a great tool for grossing people out at parties? Well, while I can slip my knees off, but they stay pretty stable otherwise, when I strain them enough, they don’t need me to decide on slipping for them, and when they go out on their own the natural reaction is a contraction of the muscle and it already hurt to go out, but that makes it hurt so much worse. Actually, the whole process of them going out causes pain and swelling, and that doesn’t even cover the damage you take in the fall or the embarrassment of when it happens in front of people. It isn’t really that I can’t run either, this is where it gets hard to explain to me. My knees can, and have, gone out while just walking, especially if I slip on something. The incident of it happening is really just higher when I run. The knee just has more ability to shift when under the pressure of running and it makes it more likely for it to happen.

It is possible that I will run at some point, if not just short runs or light jogging. I do exercises to keep my leg muscles up to reduce times the knees pop out on a normal bases as well as to help with pain that they cause, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to think that I might be able to also get to a point to jog or even run, but I think it is also a factor of if I feel comfortable trying it as well. There is a way to fix this issue completely, two doctors have recommended it so far, but there isn’t much about knee replacement surgery that sounds like something I want to do, well ever. As long as my knees work and I can at least walk, I don’t see a need in “fixing” them.

Leave a comment

Posted by on July 31, 2012 in General Post, Weight


Tags: , , ,

Day 16

Weigh-In: 250

Yesterday was just a failure all around. A Jack in the Box opened up in town for the first time yesterday. It was always my dad and my favorite place to eat when we were out-of-town, so I ate there for lunch. Even though I didn’t have much for lunch, there isn’t much there that is in any way good for you. Then late in the afternoon there were several fires in the area, one of which was getting too close to my parents place, so I took off work early and went and got my dad and we went to town. Since the Jack in the Box had just opened he wanted to go there for dinner, and I sure wasn’t arguing that. In two meals I went WAY over my diet plan, but man it was good.

I finally got home and was going to go do laundry and then go for my walk, but it was 106 out when I got home, so I decided to wait until it got cooler out, and I fell asleep in the process. So, fatty foods, soda, and no walk. We will just call that an extra day off. We will see what happens today.


Posted by on July 31, 2012 in Weight


Tags: , , ,

Day 15 Weight

Day 12 Stats

  • 3.56 Miles Walked

Day 13 Stats

  • .88 Miles Walked
  • Arm Curls 50 Reps @ 10 lbs
  • Chest Press 50 Reps @ 10 lbs
  • Pec Fly 25 Reps @ 10 lbs

Day 14 Stats

  • .87 Miles Walked
  • Arm Curls 50 Reps @ 5 lbs

Morning Weigh-In: 250 lbs

I want to point out first, DAY 12 STATS! 3.56 miles is how long it takes for me to get from my place around the lake and back. I was so excited that I made it around the lake. It took me forever to get around the lake, but I made it. Now, I have been asked how out of shape I really am if I am making such a big deal about walking a mile on past posts, well the simple answer is, very. I fully admit that I am out of shape. In saying that, I have been able to walk more than a mile, just that I don’t do it very fast. In these workouts I have been walking at the quickest pace I can without hurting myself, but I am out of shape. That is kind of the point here. I wouldn’t be posting this stuff otherwise. I will go over my Friday then we will get back to walking.

Friday was fine, I have to say that I was inches away all day from breaking though. I just am not used to all of this. The hunger was getting the best of me. I held out all of that day though. It really isn’t the hunger for food I need, but the hunger for food I want, and I recognize the difference and am not starving myself, but keeping myself from crossing that line from need to want. Friday was really hot and I opted to not walk after work, besides it was my dad’s birthday. I spent time with him and my boys instead. While watching the opening to the summer olympics I repaired the soles to my Nike shoes I found in the apartment that I want to use and wear out, they were expensive shoes after all, and I am becoming a little obsessed with all of this. I think I am projecting some of my smoking and drinking energy to walking and working out.

I got home late, but I knew I could not walk. Even though I am excited about all of this now, I know me. If I stop doing it, I won’t do it. I just need that foot in the door to have the one excuse, then I can work my way in to stopping completely. So I walked around midnight. I don’t really like walking around a dimly lit park at midnight, but it was 107 Friday and I don’t like heat stroke more. My goal was to see if I could get to the first bridge. IfI could get to the lake, then to the first bridge and back, that would be 2 miles. I was going for my record of longest walk in this last month. There were several times I just wanted to give up, but all of them were because of reasons I knew I shouldn’t. Elevated breathing and heart rate were my top reasons, but I know those are good things when working out. Then the boredom, I really need to walk with someone on the longer walks. When I got to the first bridge I noticed that I wasn’t really hurting, there was some soreness in my right calf and in my left ankle, but not the pain I had been waiting for knowing that if it showed up again I had over done it again and it was going to be a long walk home. I decided that if I wasn’t in any pain, I could go father, so I got to the second bridge. I just kept going, knowing in the back of my mind that I really should just turn around, like my subconscious was screaming it at me for almost a mile. I got to the road when I finally took my phone out to look at my app to see how far I had gone and realized I was at the point of now return. If I was to turn around, it would be no closer than going all the way around.

The feeling I got knowing that I had just made it that far was almost overwhelming, and I knew that I had to keep going. Besides, if I turned around what would be the point. I spent a good amount of time thinking about when I might feel that pain, if the pain would come hard enough that I wouldn’t be able to finish, if I would just hit a wall and have to call for a ride, how embarrassed I would be if I had to do that, if the pain started could I make it home. Then I got to my half way point for my 1 mile walks and realized that I was only half a mile from home and there was none of that pain. The soreness in the calf and ankle were still there and I had developed a blister on my big toe along the way that was hurting, but the pain keeping me from walking before was not coming back. I could see my street, I knew how long it took to walk there from where I was, and I just got a new burst of energy and excitement. When I got home I was thrilled about the fact that I had made it. I couldn’t believe I had done it. Just over a week earlier I had hurt myself walking a quick 1K and I had just walked over 3 miles without an issue. Really excited. Felt great.

Saturday and Sunday are supposed to be my days off, but I did work out both days. I just felt so lazy sitting around the house all day when I am working so hard to be active. I didn’t get anything done either day, except the dishes. So Saturday I decided to start trying to use free weights again. I own free weights, but it has been a really, really, long time since I have tried to exercise with them. So I did the exercises that I listed above. I felt really good afterwards too. I put it in my mind that I was going to do this everyday, although I decided that I needed to drop to 5 lbs and doing more sets at the same reps. I am not trying to build muscle but lose weight, and there is a difference in how you work out doing that. I decided that is what I was going to do, but I woke up Sunday in pain. Every muscle I worked out Saturday is still sore today. 10 lbs is nowhere near what I lifted on any of those 6 years ago when I did this regularly. Like I said earlier, out of shape I am. So, as soon as this horrible pain goes away, I will be doing same amount of reps with less weight and more sets spread apart. Maybe a set before and after I walk.

A did still have to walk late at night Saturday and Sunday, and I will have to the rest of this week. I simply will not walk in the sun when it is over 100 degrees out. After 3 miles I was thirsty and out of it, I couldn’t add hot to that list. I am not a heat fan as it is. What I did do over the weekend was binge drink on Dr Pepper. I felt great and horrible at the same time, but I guess it happens. After that I came up with a 1K route to the nearest convenance store. I decided that I will not keep myself from drinking soda, but I can only buy one at a time, and I have to take that route, on foot, to go buy one. So, I can drink 10 a day, but I have to walk a kilometer for each one I drink. For now, it is a great compromise, even though it may not be the best long-term.

Leave a comment

Posted by on July 30, 2012 in Weight


Tags: , , ,

Day Twenty-Eight

After today these will be in months not days, so you could call this Month One instead. I am going to continue to come back and do monthly updates on how I feel, good and bad, about not smoking, but since I am not smoking and feel I have reached this goal, I will not be doing so many regular updates. It seems that once a month will do for now though.

I am very happy how all of this has turned out. I didn’t think 28 days ago that this will be the result of me trying to quit. Reality is, I really thought that I wouldn’t smoke for about 24 hours, have a cigarette or twenty, go another 24 to 48 hours and maybe get to a point where I reduced the amount I was smoking majorly or gave up on the goal completely with in the original two-week goal. That isn’t what happened. Instead I stuck with it, replaced the cigarettes with ecigs, never had another cigarette, then majorly reduced the ecigs to less than I was expecting the reduction of cigarettes to end up being. I have not only reached my goal for the month, but doubled the reduction goal for next month on the ecigs already.

Right now I can’t think of too much more I can do to make this much better. I feel good, and not freaking out about not smoking. I don’t even freak out about not having the ecigs, even though I do still enjoy having those throughout the day. I am going to just enjoy this goal achievement and not try to put too much on it or explain it to death, just going to enjoy it.

I will beat this into the ground as much as I can and don’t care if anyone gets tired of hearing it. The people who helped make this happen are really the reason that this happened at all. I can pat myself on my back and say how great I did, but I know that there are certain people who were there and made this really happen. If I had just tried to do this alone, I would still be smoking, and enjoying it. I don’t care what you think or who you are, just one person actively supporting you, makes whatever you are doing ten times easier, and I had more than just the one.

Foremost are my boys, Conner and Jason. Not only were they my inspiration for making this happen, they kicked me in the butt until I did it. Conner, my oldest, never let it go. Wouldn’t let me get away with saying I was going to quit one day, but held my feet to the fire and made me stick to that promise. More so then just making me stick to it, Conner took the time to find ways for me to quit and methods that would help me along the way, then even helped in planning what I was going to do, stayed excited about it with me, and even helped set the quit day to make it happen. Then both of my boys stayed on me after that. Not giving me room to breath, much less to screw up. They made sure I wasn’t smoking and making me feel wonderful for it, mostly by telling me everyday how great I was doing and how much they loved that I wasn’t smoking. They were my couches and my inspiration and this wouldn’t have happened without them.

My friend John was a huge help, not only getting excited about me quitting, but quit with me. Switched to the ecigs and went into this full on with me. This was a huge help. Giving me someone to talk to and compare notes and get excited about things with me that was going through the same things I was. This was a big deal that really help. I had a multitude of other friends and family that supported me on this too, but did so by leaving me alone and letting it happen but once in a while giving me their approval and kudos, and reaching out to make sure I was doing ok while quitting. All of which really made a huge difference in making me not even feel like I have a craving at this point. I don’t think I could be where I am without all of these factors, and just wanted to make sure to thank everyone. Everyone that has supported this has made it possible for me to not only quit smoking, but helped me in getting the confidence to continue this goal as well as making others.

The last goals I had set on day fourteen were,

  • Weekly check ins.
  • I will wrap it up on August 9th with a final post on smoking.
  • This goal is to continue to not smoke and try to work on distractions to the cravings I am still having.
  • To continue to use the ecig, but reduce the amount of fluid I am using. It will be a lot harder to judge how much fluid I use since I am changing to filling my own carts in about a week, so I do not have a basis for the criteria yet, but I will soon.
  • Finally, to spend $150 or less on ecigs in the next month and have a plan in one month to reduce that more.

Let’s review these. I have finished the first and am changing it to monthly. Next is this wrap up on the 9th, well I am doing the wrap up now on the 30th of July. I know it is early, but I didn’t see having much more to say. I need longer times apart at this point to have more to say. I have reduced the amount of ecig fluid I am using. I think it is down to about half of what I was using the week I first stopped smoking.

The final one, of reducing the amount I spend on the ecigs to $150, we need to look back in my records which shows that I was spending an average of $300 a month on cigarettes. Then during the transition to ecigs I spend over $200 a month on those, but those cost cancelled out a large amount of the cigarette costs they were replacing, but still came to around $350 a month when added together. Money was a big motivating factor in quitting, so I am including it as a big part of my goals. The goal I set was in order to force myself to not just replace the cigarettes with something that I was going to be just as addicted to and was going to spend just as much money on. I still want to reduce that amount to a point that I find reasonable, both in cost and use, before I am happy with it. This could mean that it does eventually go away.

So I had set the goal for July at $150. A look at my records for July shows that I spent, drumroll would go here, $118.85 in the month of July. With only two days left in the month, and I don’t need any more supplies of any kind. furthermore, a closer look tells me I can reduce that amount even more. I am going to go as far as saying that I can do better in august then I did in July by over a third. I am setting my only new goal for the next month with this. Next month I have to goals in one. I am setting my official goal that I will not spend more than $100 on ecig supplies of any kind in total, but I am going to be trying for the sub goal of not spending more than $75. I don’t know if I can do the $75 goal yet or not, but I am going to try. I will have updates on that next month.

Leave a comment

Posted by on July 30, 2012 in Smoking


Tags: , , ,

Day 12 Weight

Day 11 Stats

  • 2.33 Miles Walked

Day 12 Weigh In

  • 250 lbs

While I am very happy with yesterday and the fact that I was about to get to 2.33 miles in my totals for walking, I am wanting to do a daily 3 mile consistent walk, so I am not to where I want to be yet, but I am getting there. The pains from my ankles last week seem to be in the past now and I am just having to deal with pain from muscles that aren’t use to being used this much. Today is my dad’s birthday, so I will not be walking right after work, instead I will be waiting until later in the day. The boys go to their moms after his party and I will be home alone. All of this makes for conditions perfect for me to try to make it around the lake. Around the lake is just over 3 miles, plus the .2 miles from my apartment to the lake and back. I don’t know how well I will do, but if it doesn’t kill me, then it will be the walk I will be trying to do each day. I might be getting ahead of myself, but I know where my point of no return is, the point that completing the walk is shorter than turning back, and I will turn around if I don’t think I can make it before getting there.

Changing the way you eat is just hard, I am not used to it yet and am hungry all the damn time. As a recommendation from a co-worker and friend I got on to track my eating and exercise. I am using it along with my Nike apps and it seems to be working great. My account is public and viewable by anyone. If you are interested in a site that tracks calories and fat, exercise and weight training, and your weight and measurements, check it out. The iPhone app works real well, and the site and app are free. Search my name, blaxilver, and add me if you get on there. I have the same name on Nike if you are there too.


Posted by on July 27, 2012 in Weight


Tags: , , ,

Day 11 Weight

Day 10 Stats

  • 1.54 Miles Walked

Morning Weigh-in

  • 251lb
  • 17 3/4″ Neck
  • 45″ Waist

Well its been a while since I had my soda in the house. That is the one I really hate, getting thirsty at home and not having a soda to drink. That’s what I want to drink, it’s not like I think to myself “gee water sounds good,” but I will get past that eventually I guess. I have still had a couple when eating out or just when I really felt I wanted one, but when I’m sitting at home and just want one I have to get up and walk to the store, and then I only buy one. I know it still isn’t good for me, but the 1/4 mile walk to get it is harder than going to the fridge, so I don’t want one nearly as often.

As you can see above, I finally got a measuring tape to track this all with. I did the waist measurement all properly around the belly and all, not at all an accurate measurement of the pants I wear, but that is alright. Want to really make yourself feel bad, get a scale and a measuring tape, get a diagram of how to properly measure yourself, then after doing the measurements and weight, look up what the medical world considers over weight on all of that. I think I am just over on every part at my goal weight. I am doing all of this to get myself motivated to get to a point that some people consider over-weight. What kind of crap is that. I would consider myself over-weight now, but I certainly am not more than that. I don’t think I am at least.

When it comes to my exercising, I did start walking yesterday, but still felt crunches, push-ups and weights were too much still with my back pains earlier this week. Very happy to say that the pains from whatever I did to my ankles last week seems to be gone, allowing me to walk my longest since I started this. I did decide to break it up into two workouts. I did .9 miles inside at work, then .64 miles after work outside. While walking inside my left ankle did start hurting a little after just over half a mile, but in never escalated past that. After work I was walking outside, while I prefer walking outside, it was 106 yesterday, so I only walked my 1k trail. I was sweating when I got home like I had run a 5k though. While on that walk I noticed that again my ankles weren’t hurting like they had been after injuring myself last week, but what was annoying me to no end was the ball of my right foot. With the new insoles in the shoes, my feet don’t feel as tight in the shoes and the rubbing of the ball of my foot on the back of the shoe started to get hotter and hotter as I walked. I am going to have to figure out how to tighten those up today before I walk again. I am considering adding a shorter third walk in the mornings at work too. Can’t hurt any, but I need to start wearing proper shoes to work if I am going to keep walking around so much.

Leave a comment

Posted by on July 27, 2012 in Weight


Tags: , , ,

Day 10 Weight

No Stats

Day 10 Weigh-in: 251

Not that I have hit a brick wall, but I just couldn’t work out yesterday, and I didn’t have any soda. My reasonings are simple enough. I just didn’t want to hurt myself. With me having to stay off work Monday due to my back hurting real bad, I just didn’t want to make things worse. I didn’t lay around and gorge myself on junk food either. I took my boys for pizza and bread sticks at Hideaway Pizza, and we all had a couple of slices and then I got some things around the house done, but I didn’t do a full work out according to my routine. Just one of those days that I had to take it easy. Hopefully I will be pain-free in eight days and will not have to worry about this anymore.

So really the wrap up is that I am still following the diet, not drinking the soda much, and unfortunately having to put off the exercise for a day or two. Now I am feeling great today, so I will likely start back in on the exercise a little today. I probably wont go back full swing, but ease back into it. Crunches are being left out of the plan completely for now, actually until the end of next week. I am not going to do them at all until I have talked with my surgeon and know that I am not making things worse. What I do want to do is start doing some upper body work with weights. I am going to try to do some of that today.


Posted by on July 25, 2012 in Weight


Tags: , , ,