20 Mar

As an unusual second post today, I thought I would comment a little on motivations. You know, those things that make us do these things that make us healthier when it is so easy and more pleasurable to just not do them. My motivations are personal to me, and that is why they work for me. Despite on what I am going to say here, you need to find what motivates you and go with that.

My main motivation is my kids. I grew up with two great parents and a couple of decent brothers. I don’t know what went wrong, if we learned bad eating and exercise habits on our own, learned them from our family, have a genetic preposition to over eating bad foods, got caught up in societies views on fast food and bad eating habits or some other thing that I haven’t even thought of, but both my brothers, my mom and myself turned out to be bigger. I was a tiny when I was younger, my parents use to call me a short toothpick, but about the time each of use hit high school, we stopped growing up and started growing out, and that’s just how things were. Why think more into it, right.

Now, I never have thought of my mom as a bigger woman, she just has always been mom. She is a lot smaller now than she was in the 80’s, but she still has a little weight to her. Now for any family that might read this, I want to point out that my mother is a beautiful woman and most of my favorite pictures are of her. I am not putting her down for her weight, but I can’t deny the truth about it. While it’s never been an issue for my brothers, me and never seemed to be one for my dad, my mom has always been self concise about her weight and I’ve always just known that she thinks she’s too big and has always been trying one diet or another. I don’t know why they never work like she wants them to, nor am I here to criticise or form opinions on that. I am just painting the picture of where I am coming from.

So, now we have a family of our short and balding, but always in shape father, and his over weight family. You can judge us however you want, but as far as my dad, myself and my brothers are concerned, you can also jump off a bridge if you want and it won’t hurt us anymore than your judgments of us. This has always been my opinion. Yeah, I’m over weight and increasingly more out of shape, but so what, and why would you care? This is until about two years ago when I started realizing that one of my boys was starting to get into my behaviors and routine. Then one day my youngest pretended to smoke a cigarette like me. Then even one more blow when one of them told me he didn’t like veggies, so he didn’t want to eat them anymore, at first I thought this one was just a kid thing until he said if I didn’t then he shouldn’t have too.

It was at this point that I really started looking at myself in the mirror and looking at my weight and what I was eating. I figured out one day that I had walked a total of less than a quarter or a mile in an entire weekend. A normal person will walk at least that in any given work day. I started to hate my weight and the fact that I couldn’t do much because I was limited by the shape I was in, and I started to realize where my mom was coming from, but it must be so much worse for her as a woman. I knew I needed to make real changes, but I needed to do something that would have a real impact, not only on me and my weight, but to show an example to my boys so we could stop this family cycle.

Now last year I started that plan, but before it I quit smoking. That was a two-fold, the first thing was that I was starting to feel crummy after each cigarette, and I was coughing a lot. I didn’t even realize that it was effecting the boys, until my oldest came to me with a print out of a site explaining electric cigarettes. Told me he wanted me to quit and had researched alternatives and thought this would be the best one for me. Damn if I didn’t want to cry when I saw that. I already had been considering cutting back because of the health impact smoking was having on me, but that insured me not cutting back but straight quitting. August 2012 with my boys constant support and the help of switching to electric cigarettes, I smoked my last cigarette. Now I am almost done with the electric cigarettes, feel great and haven’t coughed since September 2012.

Some of the motivations that I didn’t speak of in too much detail for both smoking and my weight, were just points I had less to say about. Basically, some of my motivation came from shame and embarrassment. Shame for how hard it was for me to walk or exercise just small amounts because of the shape I was in and the weight I was carrying on me. Embarrassment about how I looks, how I smelled, how little I could do. When you walk into a party at a friend’s house, and you are the big guy that has to ask people to let you by and then you smell like smoke all the time, there is a certain amount of embarrassment about that. My final motivation was a selfish one. I hate people who are majorly overweight and don’t do anything about it. The person at walmart that waits forever for a close spot, then gets one of those wheelchair carts, all because they are big and don’t want to walk around the store. I am not talking about people with real conditions that need that, but they aren’t the majority of those doing it. Even people with real conditions, never seem to stop and think that being fat causes you to have some of those conditions. I don’t care if they exercise or not, but it wouldn’t kill you to park a little further away and walk around walmart, in fact it might be what starts to save your life. Well the point here is, I was starting to complain to others about my weight and wasn’t starting to do anything about it. BS, that’s when I really started. I’m not going to be one of those people who weigh three hundred pounds and can’t get out of their car and blame the car.

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Posted by on March 20, 2013 in General Post


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